To say that parenting isn’t easy is an understatement. It requires time, effort, and proper knowledge to grow a child well.
If you’ve read enough parenting quotes or articles, you’ve probably encountered positive parenting. Essentially, this parenting style focuses on reinforcing your kid’s good behavior rather than punishing bad behavior since kids act better when they feel like their actions are promoted and appreciated.
So how can you apply positive parenting in your household? Below are five techniques that you can use.
1. Be Your Kid’s Role Model
Learn how to become better yourself to manage your emotions more. Showing your children healthy coping skills and appropriate responses at home allows you to set a good example for your child to follow.
If you become frustrated with your toddler, do something to take your mind off of it, like repeating a calming mantra to help you gather your thoughts and rethink your following actions. Ask yourself what’s bothering them and try addressing it calmly.
If you’re dealing with an older kid, talk them through the decisions you make at home, even minor ones, to show them how they should consider potential repercussions before acting.
Teens are a little bit more complicated, but not impossible to understand. Try communicating your feelings with them as much as possible without giving them emotional or mental fatigue.
For example, suppose they’re having difficulty managing their time. In that case, you can tell them calmly that balancing school, home, or work can be difficult and that it’s normal for everyone to get overwhelmed. Acting as a safe place for them to vent their feelings will create a stronger bond between the two of you in the long run.
Afterward, tell them how you manage or attempt to control these feelings yourself.
2. Mistakes are Sometimes the Best Teachers
Your child learns something new daily, no matter how little the lessons are. Sometimes the most significant lessons they can learn are taught not by you but by their mistakes.
Try not to punish your kids for punishment’s sake; focus on helping them learn and grow so they can do better the next time.
Find ways to teach your kids about good behaviors. For example, if your toddler misbehaves, show them how excellent behavior in the same situation would result in a positive consequence.
You can also teach your kids some problem-solving strategies that they can use. Assist them in determining which of these they may have used when they commit mistakes.
They would’ve also already developed critical thinking and forethought when they become teens. Use these to help them plan for challenging situations.
You can give them realistic scenarios they may find challenging to handle, then discuss potential solutions together.
3. Positively Reinforce Their Good Deeds
Instead of focusing on what your child does wrong, acknowledge what they do correctly. This way, they can avoid feeling embarrassed when making mistakes (that could be their best teachers) and instead feel confident if they get things right.
When your child does something excellent, reinforce it with positive attention, verbal praise, or tangible prizes.
Reinforcing your toddler’s good actions can be as simple as praising them. However, you should only pay attention when they exhibit positive behavior while limiting yourself when they exhibit tantrums or poor behavior.
Kid tip: Reward and reinforce their strengths while encouraging them to improve in areas where they need to.
Your teenagers should now have ideas on what they like or not. Allow them to choose from a list of rewards to reinforce excellent conduct.
Notice and compliment the small things your children do. Be specific about what you see and tell them this is proof of the greatness you see in them. Watch their eyes open a little wider, and then sit back and see them do more of the qualities you see. Repeat often.
4. Use Discipline More Often Than Punishment
You should be clear, consistent, and considerate when handling disciplinary actions against your kid. Also, ensure that they know why they’re being disciplined and that the consequences you impose are acceptable.
If your toddlers misbehave, show them what they should do instead. For example, if they leave their toys in the open after playing, teach them how to put them back in their container.
For your older kids, try giving them clear expectations ahead of time. Do this by informing them of their behavior’s potential implications and allowing them to decide whether or not to continue.
Teens are prone to misunderstanding your actions, so make sure their punishment is appropriate for the crime. Instead of grounding your child for every bad move, choose a consequence fit for the specific offenses they have committed.
5. Set Positive Boundaries
Setting boundaries in your relationships with your kids is essential for effective parenting.
Boundaries help us (both you and your child) feel respected since your relationship needs are both being addressed. You’ll know when to establish a new limit when you feel irritable or annoyed by your child’s repeated behavior.
Try establishing rules with them. For example, you can tell your kids that you’ll have to finish work first before you can play or hang out with them.
With the proper knowledge and guidance, parenting doesn’t need to be as taxing as you initially thought. Remember that no matter your parenting style, your kids still need assurance, love, and commitment– positive parenting just happens to enforce that.