Klemmer offers experiential leadership trainings that empower people to unlock their potential and transform their lives. Tens of thousands of people around the world have graduated from the company’s training, emerging with a sharper understanding of the limiting beliefs that stand in the way of their success. These graduates learn how to alter their mindset and behaviors to create a clear path to their goals.
Delayed gratification is a mindset and pattern of behavior that many people struggle with. However, it is critical for achieving real, lasting change.
Short-term gratification vs. long-term gain
One of the main determinants of success is a willingness to sacrifice instant gratification for long-term gain. This practice of delayed gratification prioritizes the cumulative benefits of actions over time, which are key to transforming your life.
Unfortunately, delaying gratification is easier said than done. If there’s a choice, many people choose what’s enjoyable in the moment, or whatever allows them to avoid temporary unpleasantness—even if that choice will harm them in the long run or make it more difficult to achieve their goals. They opt for what feels good right now, unwilling to forgo that hit of dopamine in exchange for progress toward their goals.
Consider the choices that students and professionals have to make on a daily basis: party with friends or study for a test; spend the weekend golfing or work on a business plan. One choice may be a lot more fun than another, but it might harm you if you need to pass the class or if you want to quit your day job and start your own business.
The challenges of delayed gratification
One of the reasons delayed gratification can be so difficult is that people often don’t see the cumulative effects of their decisions until much later. A good example is adopting a healthy diet rather than eating junk food. Eating ice cream feels good in the moment and probably won’t do any harm. However, if you’re constantly choosing ice cream instead of a healthier snack, you may be harming your health. Over time, short-sighted decisions can really add up.
Likewise, you know that choosing a healthy snack is good for you, but doing so doesn’t immediately improve your health. Instead, it takes months of healthy eating to have a noticeably positive effect on the body, just as it takes months of unhealthy food choices to have a noticeably negative effect. Because people often react emotionally rather than logically, they are likely to take the easy “win.” They choose the pleasure of eating junk food right now rather than work toward long-term health goals.
The same holds true with exercise, which can also have a positive effect on health. Choosing to exercise every day doesn’t result in immediate weight loss or instant cardiac improvement, but it does have a positive cumulative effect.
Unfortunately, the lack of an instant reward for exercise often leads people to choose activities that are fun in the short term but not helpful in the long term, like watching TV or playing video games instead of going for a bike ride or hitting the gym. It might feel better in the moment to veg on the couch, but repeatedly choosing instant gratification over delayed gratification means sacrificing long-term happiness and success for short-term pleasure.
The rewards of waiting
In a study with young preschool children called the Marshmallow Test, a number of youngsters were presented with a single marshmallow, then told that they could eat it immediately or wait five minutes and get a second marshmallow. The children who chose to delay gratification and take two marshmallows after five minutes went on to be more successful in education and work, on average, than those who ate their marshmallows immediately.
This study highlights how success and delayed gratification are linked. It also demonstrates in a simple way how a willingness to delay gratification doesn’t just mean getting a reward later. The kids who waited got a greater reward: two marshmallows instead of one. Similarly, the pleasure of finally achieving a major goal is almost always greater than the fleeting enjoyment you get from short-term decisions.
Willpower and goal prioritization
Delayed gratification requires willpower and the ability to prioritize long-term goals, two traits that many people lack. Some lucky people seem to have an enviable ability to delay gratification, whether due to a natural tendency or the influence of their parents in early life. However, the good news is that anyone can strengthen their ability to make short-term sacrifices for longer-term goals.
If you’re working toward a major goal or you want to change your life, you’ll need to develop willpower and prioritize delayed gratification. Fortunately, willpower is a muscle you can strengthen over time. You just have to consistently exercise it. Every time you use your willpower, it becomes easier to do so the next time.
Good things take time
It’s been said that nothing good comes easy, and that anything worth having is worth working for. This is just another way of saying that delayed gratification can result in greater rewards down the line. Of course, there should be a purpose behind short-term sacrifices. Delayed gratification for its own sake will only make you feel resentful and deprived. Like almost everything in life, it’s important to find balance. If you’re eating healthy most of the time, it’s fine to enjoy that ice cream occasionally.
Remember: Success is cumulative. It depends on your choices over time. There will be moments when you have a choice between fun right now or progress toward your goal. In those moments, choosing to delay your gratification can put you closer to success.