A divorce is never easy. It’s a huge change, and it can be hard to adjust. This is even more true when the marriage doesn’t end on good terms and leads to a hard divorce.
However, as hard as it may be for you, it can often be even harder if there are children involved. Young children may not fully understand what is happening, which could lead to feelings of confusion. Older children may lash out.
It doesn’t matter how old your children are or how they take the news – it’s your duty as their parent to support them during this difficult time. Keep reading to learn how you can do this.
Get a lawyer
Getting a lawyer may be the best thing for you and your children. Firstly, it will mean that you won’t need to be as hands-on in the divorce, meaning you will have more time to focus on your children.
Secondly, it can mean less conflict between you and your ex-spouse. And finally, it can also mean that the children’s best interests are considered when it comes to custody and maintenance battles.
Ideally, you should work with a company specializing in family law, such as Skyview Law in Yakima.
Talk to them
Some parents want to shield their children from divorce, which means that they end up entirely avoiding the subject. While these actions may come from good intentions, your children likely need to talk through what they are feeling.
Talking to friends and family is important, and your children should learn this at a young age. However, keep in mind that they should be the focus when you are talking to them – you shouldn’t give them too many details about the divorce, and you certainly shouldn’t badmouth their other parent.
Have them see a professional
As much as you may want to be there for your child, you might not always have the necessary skills to understand the complexity of their emotions, especially during a time when you’re struggling with your own.
If you have tried to support your child but you realize that it’s not working, you should consider having them talk to a professional so that they can get the help they need.
You might be wondering if your child can benefit from counseling, and the truth is that there’s no way of knowing unless you try it.
You need to accept that this will be a tough time for your child. They may be hurt and angry, and if they are unable to put those feelings into words, they may lash out.
You should try to be more understanding of their experience instead of simply focusing on your own. Also, try not to take anything that they say too personally; they likely don’t mean it.
Of course, there should still be boundaries and you shouldn’t allow them to get away with whatever they want just because they are struggling. But you also shouldn’t take your emotions out on them. It’s a tough balance, but you’ll need to work on it together.